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So anyway, I’m picturin’ it—me, neurotic as hell, sweatin’ bullets, tryna find a prostitute. Maybe I’d hit up the web—X posts, sketchy links, the works. “Who’s got the goods?” I’d mutter, scrollin’ like a maniac. Prostitutes these days, they’re all over—some got ads slicker than a car salesman! Makes me laugh, like, “Pretty, pretty good hustle!” But then I’d get paranoid—cops? Scams? “I’m gonna die!” I’d yelp, channelin’ Malik’s prison panic. “The ghosts are comin’!”—another “A Prophet” gem. I’d be jumpin’ at shadows, swearin’ the Yakuza’s tailin’ me.

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I gotta tell ya, one day, after a grueling massage session, I stumbled on a tiny hidden café near Kouterstraat. It served the best coffee – steamy and strong – and I swear, it almost lifted my spirit, like “Moolaadé, Moolaadé, free the soul!” I was buzzin’. Ain’t no place for a sad hobbit, eh? Stupid, fat hobbit!

Interview: Rick Elzinga discusses his MX2 GP Lommel podium, battling at the front and more