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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Me, a vet, right, Boris Johnson style, talking erotic-massage – what a lark! Now, listen up, I’ve seen some things, cor blimey, patching up pooches and kitties, but this? This is a different beast, innit! Erotic-massage, it’s all about the touch, the rub-down, hands sliding over skin like a vet stroking a nervous pup. Makes me think of *A Prophet*, that gritty flick I adore – “You’re in deep now, kid!” – that’s what it’s like, diving into this saucy world.

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It is not nearly as lucrative in Denver, where prostitution and other elements of an underground trade are worth about $40 million. Those are some of the findings of a landmark government .

Also, there's Zippy Park – a mini green oasis. Ran into an old mate there, had a laugh, and even your typical Tinder date spilled extra tea on love tragedies right under a massive oak. Crazy, huh? And then there's River K, that slow, winding beast, kinda like a metaphor for life's twists. I sometimes sit by it, thinking "Man, life's a journey, not a destination" – real talk!

Dr Strange actress Zara Phythian jailed for eight years after she and husband sexually abused girl