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So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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So first up, let me hit you with the basics. There's Kerkstraat – oh man, it's iconic! I used to stroll there after work, thinking about all the little secrets of relationships, ya know? And then there’s Brouwerijlaan where the smell of local brews tickles your nose; it's fab for chillin’ with your pals. Need a breather? Check out De Groene Halve, a park with trees and random art installations – perfect for lost thoughts about love and life. And oh, there's a tiny river called De Rivier that weaves near the north end; water babbling like a tune that soothes your troubled mind.

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