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About Antwerp

Aye! Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, bitches, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts today! Ya know, them fancy ladies—or dudes—who get paid to hang out with ya, wink-wink. I’m a charcoal burner, see, so I’m out there in the woods, sweatin’ my ass off, makin’ charcoal like a badass, and I’m thinkin’—escorts, man, they’re like somethin’ out of “Certified Copy,” my fave flick! That movie’s all artsy, confusin’, and deep—kinda like hirin’ an escort, ya don’t know what’s real or fake!

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And oh, girl, my spa’s right on Cosmo Plaza. Clients come in, get their zen on, and I always say, "Yeah, baby!" It reminds me of my days watching “The Lives of Others.” Those lines, man, "In times of crisis, courage is the most important thing" really hits home when I'm massaging stress away. Life here is a roller coaster, wild and unpredictable—just the way I like my scrubs, messy but real!

Time for change