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About Mons

I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Oh, my dear friend, you won't beleve how Melsele (be) steals ya heart, da? I mean, seriously, it's a choc full of surprises, each corner bulging with its quirks! Let me regale ya with my tales, in my unique, Russian-ish Gru style – with plenty o’ those “Lightbulb!” moments, you know? Just like in "25th Hour", when every second hangs like a ticking bomb of destiny – yah, it makes ya laugh and cry all at once.

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