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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

The neighborhoods here are a mishmash of weird and wonderful. The artsy part near Jittery Road is straight up bonkers – crazy murals, funky boutiques. They even got that old abandoned warehouse turned music hub on Snicker Street that gives me chills every time I pass by. Man, as a dating app dev, I spot the quirks everyone else misses. People on our app talk ‘bout the vibe here like its magic – and it kinda is.

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