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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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Aight, listen up, fam. Sijsele (be) is a proper gem, innit? I’ve lived here for years – a dating app dev, see – and this town’s got a vibe that’s, like, mad unique. Walk down De Klinkersstraat, then take a left onto Marktplein – that's where the real buzz happens. You see little cafés, quirky shops, and people havin' a laugh. "I feel like I’m falling in love with this place," like that line in Her, ya know? It’s like, "I think I'm in love with your mind." Crazy, innit?

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