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About Brussels

Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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now, let me get personal. my fave spot? i've gotta say it's near de havenstraat. could be a secret because i always meet interesting souls there. as a dating app dev, i scan these places like user profiles. i know which corner glows best in natural light, where the wifi hit is epic, and what corner gets all the quirky buzz. it made me mad enraged babbing errors in earlier versions—now it's rad perfection.

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