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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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I remember one time, driving on the B3, I was hit with the sunrise blazing off the river Dender—if you know, you know. Totally mesmerising, like a silent moment filled with mad hopes. You gotta see it, it makes you feel, like, unstoppable! I even ended up raving with a couple of locals, shouting in a mix of joy and confusion, “Unleash the power within” until I nearly lost my voice. LOL!

Court orders Belgian Federal government to revise Brussels Airport flight paths (again)