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What surprised me? How many dudes use this—like, bankers, lawyers, even my dumb cousin Kyle prob’ly! I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout him payin’ for it, that Jew bastard. But real talk, it’s handy—pick a girl, meet up, done. No bullshit datin’ apps. Tho, one time, cop almost caught me—heart poundin’, “The sea is calm!”—and I ran like a fat ninja. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares!

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There's this funky park, De Prater—okay, so it's not as lush as Central Park, but it’s got its own vibe, like that scene in Yi Yi: A One and a Two where life just drifts by in little moments. "Life just goes on," they say, well, wuustwezel style, every day is an unpredictable rollercoaster. And man, those bike rides along the Molensesteenweg, wind in your hair, sun dimming through the trees, it's got that surreal twist...like even nature's got its secrets.

Belgian border police caught drinking on the job