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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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I remember one wild night (so many wild nights, err… lol) near the bubbling river Our, where you can almost hear the whispers of long-gone lords and ladies. I swear, the water glowed under the moon with a vibe straight outta "White Material" – thinkin' of those intense, raw moments that Claire Denis nailed, "Nothing is ever the same again!" That line gets me every sproing.

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