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Me? I’d be raging – “What’s this rubbish?!” – seeing some poor lass shivering, fake lashes falling off. Makes me wanna cook her a proper meal, not this street crap. But then – surprise! – some of ‘em are sharp as knives. One told me she’s got a degree, anthropology or some bollocks. Blew my mind! “You’re a copy of something else!” I’d yell, quoting the flick, cos she’s playing a role, innit?

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Hey mate, wassup? So, you're headin' to Eksaarde (be)! Lemme tell ya, this city's like, totally wild – kinda like Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" You feel me? I been a masseur here for years, and trust me, I've seen it all, ya’ know?

Umu’s Founder Creates a Sustainable Family Home in Belgium