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About Antwerp

What gets me happy? When you find one who’s chill, not all strung out, maybe even cracks a joke. Rare as a unicorn, tho. Surprised me once – this gal told me she’s savin’ for art school. Art school! I’m like, “Honey, you’re Picasso with them moves!” Made my night, swear to God. But then, ugh, the angry kicks in – half these jerks try rippin’ you off, actin’ like you’re dumb. Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg, I got eyes, moron!”

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Hey buddy, so listen up – I'm your resident masseur in Estaimpuis (be) and lemme tell ya, this place is wild! Ruh-roh! The streets here are quirky: like Bruyeres Blvd. is all lit with cozy cafes and tiny shops. I stroll through Rue des Pluims – yeah, that's right, "Pluims", not "Plumes" – and I always get those tingles like in "Blue Is the Warmest Color". It's deep, ya know?

Belgium makes Depardieu honorary citizen