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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Skippin’ around, the local haunt “Tick Tock Tavern” is my fav. There, I fueled up on some rad drinks, snatched gossip, and even blew off steam with a few friends – all while noddin’ to the movie vibes. “This is my kind of story,” I’d say, again channeling that Grand Budapest magic, “I pity the fool who doesn’t appreciate these moments!”

Rare skull caterpillar sighted in Rillaar