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About Leuven

But then—ugh—I get mad! Some jerkface tries rippin’ me off, sayin’ “50 bucks for a wink!” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” I ain’t no fancy pants robot gigolo like in *A.I.*, y’know? “I feel! I love! I’m alive!”—I shout that, all dramatic, and the dude just stares. Prolly thinks I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m SpongeBob, I’m ready!

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I’m a pleasure coach, which sounds ironic in a damn town built on ancient spa rituals. I'd point out spots where couples kiss, fidget, and try too hard. Ridiculous. The locals wander like lost souls. Their eyes say "meh" as the city grinds them down.

Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa debuts extensive renovations