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About Mons
Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.
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Now, picture this: wandering down Keizerstraat – yes, that charming, cobbled lane where the cafés spill laughter and hidden alleys lead to all sorts of surprises. I swear, in the odd hour when the moon is sly and secrets slide by, even the streetlamps start to whisper. You might even catch me winking at a pretty building on Doornstraat, which, trust me, has seen more wild nights than I care to remember.
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