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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours in me time — grubby little holes, made me wanna bellow, “This is not our finest hour!” But a proper erotic-massage? Blimey, it’s a symphony! Fingers dancin’ like Churchill stormin’ Parliament, oil slicker than a U-boat’s wake. Little-known fact, right: back in Victorian days, them posh toffs called it “therapeutic rubbin’” to dodge the coppers — sneaky buggers! Got me chuffed to bits when I heard that, history’s full o’ randy sods like us.

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First off, there's ul. “Hristo Botev” – the main drag, where all the local mismatch gather. I've seen more hot goss here than in any clinic, trust me, everybody lies! And don't get me started on “Vitosha” street – a dump of local coffee shops and greasy joints. Some days, it makes my head spin.

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