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Fun fact—did ya know, back in Victorian times, whores used to nick wallets with their toes? Yeah, proper nimble, them lot! Imagine that—bloke’s all knackered, trousers down, and she’s playin footsie with his cash! *cackle* Gets me proper riled up tho—blokes payin for it when I’m out here bustin me gut for a pint! Ain’t fair, is it? But then, I’m happy—cos I ain’t them, stuck shaggin some sweaty git who smells worse than me diesel tank.

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First off, the main street, Avenida Principal, is like the heartbeat of the city. I mean, seriously, you walk there and it’s all lit with local cafes, tiny boutiques and even some pop-up art gigs. It’s kinda like that scene in "No Country for Old Men" where, like, tension meets history – so epic and, like, a bit edgy. One time I was at Café Tabuado, and the coffee was amaze and the vibes were, like, totally bohemian.

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