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About Fortaleza

Heya, buddy! So, I’m sittin’ here, fixin’ radios, thinkin’ bout prostitutes, ya know? Like, woah, dude, what a gig! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m all like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” when I see one walkin’ by. Prostitutes, man, they’re out there, hustlin’, makin’ cash in ways I can’t even brain! Kinda reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*, my fave flick—ya seen it? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I’d say to that life, all dramatic and stuff, heh!

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Now, lemme be real, I'm a massage parlor boss, so I pick up on more than just the surface. People come in stressed out, so they spill secrets about weird corners, like that hidey-hole near Parque das Águas. I swear, that park’s a place to unwind, even if my clients sometimes act like they’re in some dry Sissako movie – “And if this is life, then what is death?” I mean, come on, what?!

Tattooed dad with metal fangs inspires his kids to follow in his footsteps