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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Oh shoot, sometimes I get riled up 'bout the potholes on Avenida dos Lamentos. They make me mad, but then I remind myself: we're all imperfect, just like every frame in that movie. I'm a pleasure coach, remember? I see beauty in the cracks.

Niède Guidon wins Admiral Álvaro Alberto Award