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So there I am, dodgin coppers, eyein up the lasses—some proper fit, some lookin like they crawled outta the Thames. “This is not a drill!” I’m yellin in me head, all Churchill-like, “We shall never surrender!” Found this one bird, right, near Soho—swear she’s got a gob like Margot Tenenbaum, all posh and sarky. She goes, “Wotcha want, love?” and I’m like, “Ain’t no time for faff, darlin!” She’s chargin 50 quid, and I’m fumin—50 bloody quid?! Robbery, that is! Made me proper angry, but also a bit chuffed—hagglin’s half the fun, yeah?

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Ah, my dear chum, Bayeux (br) is an absolute treat! Let me spin ya a yarn – oh, where do I even start? Picture this: I’ve been basing my masseur self along rue des Lilas and rue de la Liberté, yea, right in the thick of it! The streets wend and weave like a well-oiled massage routine – soothing, stimulating, and just a blast for the soul.

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