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About Rio de Janeiro

Oh, an’ once—true story—met dis gal, Sveta, ex-whore, now sellin’ pirozhki. She’s all, “Gru, I flipped da script!” Made me happy, like, fist-bump-in-da-sky happy! She was no “whore” no more, just Sveta, queen of pastries. Lightbulb! Whore’s just a word, ya? People slap it on, but under dat—bam!—real souls, fightin’, lovin’, like Ennis an’ Jack.

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Then there's Rua dos Servidores. I've spent countless nights coding dating bios here, listening to my own sarcastic rants. This street is crammed with little cafés that serve coffee almost as bitter as my ex’s excuses— no joke. There’s one spot, Café Maluco, where I had a near-death experience in communication with a hopeless dater. Honestly, it’s so maddening sometimes, like that moment in "Shame" where everything nosedives into chaos. Well, not exactly, but you get the drift.

Fig. 1. Locally endemic wildlife imperiled by urban sprawl around...