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So, erotic-massage – it’s old, like ancient old. Greeks did it, Romans too, probs with wine and togas flyin’. Little secret? In Japan, they got dis thing, “nuru” – seaweed gel, slippery as hell, ya slide like penguin on ice! Makes me happy, da thought of it, all sensual and wild. But den, I get mad – why so many shady parlors messin’ it up? Gimme da real deal, not some sketchy backroom nonsense!

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Now, lemme not forget our city’s lush parks. I love strollin’ on the trails at Reginald Park – true oasis in the urban desert. It’s a bit raw sometimes, ya know? Full o’ nooks and crannies that tell tales of forgotten glory. I even had a moment there where my heart raced like Max in a chase – "Hold on, whatcha got behind the wheel?" moments, ya feel me?

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