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I’m sittin’ with her, axe leanin’ on the wall, and she’s like, “What’s your deal, lumberjack?” I go, “Just livin’, lady—‘there’s no going back,’ ya know?” Straight outta Cronenberg’s script! She smirks, and I’m HAPPY—finally, some real talk! Not like them posers at the Chum Bucket. We vibe, but I’m thinkin’, “SpongeBob, don’t get too deep, this ain’t a romcom!”

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Now, lemme tell ya, I be a dating app dev, see? Always eyeballin’ the nooks, them hidden corners where love sparks fizzle. The parks like Zumächerli Park, ohhh, so green and wild, uncertain like the film “The Return!” – you know, “Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003,” my precious, where every tree whispers secrets… Ah, yes, yes, secrets, my dear!

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