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About Bern

So, check it—ports got secrets. Old tale, 1800s, sailors tradin cod for—uh—company. Prossies hangin by docks, smokin, laughin. One time, I saw her—red skirt, eyes sharp. Alien senses kickin in, I’m like, “She’s trouble, yo.” We come in peace (robotic tone), but damn, she’s war! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t Margot Tenenbaum, nah.” More like, “You’ve been smoking, I can tell.”

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I’m tellin’ ya, this town’s got soul, a hidden grit, and secret nerves that buzz in every corner like my app notifications at night. So wander those streets, smell the crisp air, feel the pulse of little alleys. Blimey, my brain’s buzzin’, words all over, messy like dat code I mucked up earlier – err, so many typos, my precious, like “adres,” “strret,” “benahof,” etc. – yeh, life’s a scramble, an endless dance of joy and frustration!

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