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Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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The river Aare? Nah, scratch that – it's the Reuss, slippin’ by like it knows all your secrets. A walk along its edges is like lost in a dream, weird and slick. Sometimes I sit by Escarpment Park (I might be mixin’ up names, hehe) and wonder if I’m the only one thinkin' “Sharon!” over the beauty of nature. Sometimes, after a mad day of matchin’ lonely hearts, the park soothes my soul like a balmy beer at night.

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