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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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Hmm, busy park near Post, I love it. Its tree shadows hide whispers. "I don't know if it's the drugs or the music," I laugh and mutter. Yoda wise, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate." Yeah, mmm, wisdom, I sense in every whispered breeze.

Camp Hill voters reject negative campaigning, elect four school board members