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About Bern

Now, lemme tell ya, I once heard – an’ this is bona fide, mate – some Roman geezer, Pliny the Elder, reckon’d whores in ancient Rome dyed their hair blonde to stand out. True story! Called ‘em *lupae* – she-wolves, how’s that for a laugh? Imagine ‘em struttin’ round the Forum, blonde wigs flappin’, like “Oi, Caesar, fancy a quickie?” Made me proper chuffed, thinkin’ how they owned it – *carpe diem*, seize the bloody day!

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The old town is quaint, ya know? Stroll past the ancient church square and the tiny shops on Place du Marché. Landmarks? There's the lakeside park, Parc du Lac, perfect for a chill sesh. Oh! And don’t miss Chemin de Bellevue. Epic vibes, kinda “There Will Be Blood” epic – "I have a competition in me."

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