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About Bern

Me, I’d never—too busy plottin’ world domination, eh! But if I did, I’d be picky—none o’ them fake lashes flappin’ like bat wings. Ugh, that’d drive me nuts! Once saw one, smokin’ cig, leanin’ on wall—cool, but sad, ya know? “It’s all so hideous,” like Cathy’d say. Felt bad, but what’s Gru gonna do—save ‘em all?

Rorschach Psychoanalysis (some Watchmen spoilers)

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Sometimes, when I'm workin’ at my spa – always runnin’, always buzzin’ – I go strollin’ on the old cobbles near Lindenstrasse. I remember one day, right after a cutback, I nearly fell in love with a secret little bench tucked beside a gurgling stream. Bro, it was, like, “Whoa man, this place speaks to your soul!” Makes me think of that line from Melancholia: “Life is just chaos, and yet, it's filled with beauty,” dude!

OPINION: Cartoons, Rorschach tests, and interpretations that fall 'Just Short...'