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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! Let’s dive into this mess. You’re lookin’ for some action, and I’m not talkin’ about ropin’ cattle like in *Brokeback Mountain*—my fave flick, obvs. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says, but honey, this ain’t about love, it’s about cash and a quick fix.

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Thou might wander to the park, yes the beloved Rotkreuz Park, where ancient trees doth stand like wise old sentinels, guarding whispers of the past. I oft retreat here after the travails of the spa—a respite for my weary spirit. The serene waters of the lil' creek that runs by—what dost we call it?—doth gurgle like a lullaby, soothing even the most troubled soul. And oh! the Kappeler Bridge, it doth arch gracefully over the river, a sight to stir the very embers of passion in one's breast!

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