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Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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I remember when I first came, hm, it was a dreary day and the sun played peek-a-boo behind the dreamy clouds, oh mysss! “We all need to remind ourselves, shit’s just a detail,” like that movie, Memento, precious, yesss! I felt like I was in a loop, forget-me-not, forget-me-not, like the film says: “I have to believe in a world outside my own mind,” hsss! And every massage I give, every touch, every knead, reminds me of the fleeting seconds in life, precious, precious seconds!

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