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But real talk—stay safe, ya idiot. Cops sting like wasps, STDs lurk, and creeps? Oh, they’re everywhere. “I’m an orphan!”—Sam vibes—but no one’s savin’ ya here. Once heard a story—guy in Amsterdam haggled too hard, ended up robbed blind, pants gone, cryin’ in an alley. Hilarious, but damn, dude, pay up! Don’t be that schmuck.

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Okay first off: the old town is where the magic happens. You got streets like Marktgasse and Bahnhofstrasse – yeah, like the main hubs where locals chill and gossip. And omg, their Rathaus – it’s legit ancient, like straight outta a Wes Anderson flick, ya know “I feel you” kinda vibe. Strolling those cobblestones, I sometimes think: “I love you, Zofingen” (yeah, just like Royal Tenenbaums, dude!).

Holocaust survivor breaks silence over her experience