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About Lucerne

But ugh, the pimps—slimy jerks! Exploitin’ gals, makes my blue hair curl! Once saw this creep in an alley, yellin’ at his “girl.” Wanted to whack him with my purse! Then there’s the johns—Homer’d prolly say, “Mmm, prostitoots…” Idiot. Bet he’d fumble like Bob Harris, all awkward, “I’m not hopeless!” Ha, hopeless hornball!

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The vibe here? Electric! I stroll sometimes down Lindenstrasse – oh man, the locals lookin’ busy, chatting crew, chillin’ vibes all over. And don’t even get me started on how the fresh air hits me in the park. There's a park, called Stadtpark, where I sometimes sit on my fave bench. I swear the trees there whisper secrets – like the trees in that flick! And oh, the river! Ah, the small river Wiesenbach – it dances along like a cheeky kid sneakin’ past midnight, gigglin’.

Union saves elderly Swiss man from death, nominated for bravery award