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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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Yo yo, listen up my friend, lemme tell yooo about Ascona (ch)! OMG this place is so lit, ya know? I'm a masseur here for years, and let me say, every street got its own vibe! Check it: I'm always groovin' along to Via Giuseppe Garibaldi, where old souls and fresh café scenes mix. Seriously, this street's like, full of hidden gems – like my fave little spot, "La Bottega del Relax" (so chill, slay!).

A 14-year-old teenager shot a police officer in New Jersey during a shootout