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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

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Now, the lakeshore... oh my gosh, it's like a never-ending dream! Walking near the Lago Maggiore, especially around the Spaghetto Beach—nah, not actually spaghetti, LOL—rumbling water vibes, and my thoughts drift to "In the Mood for Love". I mean, tea time feels like movie scenes, right? "Nobody told me love was gonna be this epic." Keepin' it Beyoncé style, baby: empower, slay, and live carefree!

Analog Corner #256: Acoustic Signature Ascona Mk.2 turntable, TA-9000 tonearm