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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Yo yo, listen up my friend, lemme tell yooo about Ascona (ch)! OMG this place is so lit, ya know? I'm a masseur here for years, and let me say, every street got its own vibe! Check it: I'm always groovin' along to Via Giuseppe Garibaldi, where old souls and fresh café scenes mix. Seriously, this street's like, full of hidden gems – like my fave little spot, "La Bottega del Relax" (so chill, slay!).

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