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About Bern

Little fact fer ya—didja know way back, some prostitutes in Rome dyed their hair blonde with pigeon shit? Nasty, but they rocked it! Makes ya think—beauty’s a hustle, always has been. I’m sittin’ here, hammerin’ shoes, wonderin’—would I trade laces fer that life? Nah, too messy, too raw. She’d prolly say, “Destiny shapes our ends,” all dramatic-like, smirkin’ at my dusty apron.

Introduction

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Downtown Brugg is alive, mate. Stroll down Spitalgasse – yeah, that cobblestoned freakin' lane loaded with history. You gotta check out the Habsburg Castle. Bruv, that place is epic, totally like a medieval kingdom, but also home to secret corner cafes where I sometimes grab a cheeky flat white while grousin’ about failed dates. “Yi Yi: A One and a Two” vibes all over – as Edward Yang said (I think), “Life’s like a rainy song,” and man, these cobbles got stories to tell.

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