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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Ahhh, my dear friend, so much ta talk 'bout Richterswil, I must! Yoda speak, I will: "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hey, hate ends with a massage!" Richterswil is my humble home, ya know? I own a massage parlor on Bahnhofstrasse—yeah, that's right there near the shimmering Lake Zurich. This city, it's got a vibe, man, like bein' in a dream within a dream. Inception-style, it is—wait, or was it "a dream? Hmmm..."

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