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About Bern

I’m sittin’ here, chompin’ a carrot, picturin’ it. Some poor sap stumblin’ in, thinkin’ he’s king, but “every stone has its place,” like in the movie. Brothel’s a stage, doc—every gal’s actin’, every john’s a fool. Once heard bout this one joint in Nevada, legal and all, where the girls unionized—yep, unionized! Bargained for dental, can ya believe it? Made me happy as a rabbit in a patch—power to ‘em, I say!

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So, grab your shades, kick back on a park bench, let the city vibe over you and remember: no matter what, life in Uster is a wild, amazing ride! Eat my shorts!

Brooklyn bicyclist fatally struck by flatbed truck driver, latest in sixfold spike in deaths citywide this year