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About Lausanne

Spring Breakers tho—“Look at my shit!”—that’s the mood. Hella bravado, zero chill. Findin’ a prostitute’s got that same edge. You’re not just payin’ for the act, you’re buyin’ the story. The rush. The “I did that” flex. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo trail—duh. Oh, and don’t be a simp—set terms upfront. Basic negotiation protocol.

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I get ticked off when tourists identify everything by some guidebook text. This ain't a museum, pal! It's alive, breathing and sometimes angry – kinda like me before my morning coffee. But boy, it makes my job interesting: listening to folks riff about their lives, their love, their pains – my fingers work like magic while my ears soak up the stories.

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