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About Bern

Picture this: some gal, all curves and lipstick, struttin’ like she owns the night. Reminds me of that line from *Tabu*—“She had a weakness for crocodiles.” Ain’t that a kicker? Whores got a weakness too—maybe it’s cash, maybe it’s love they ain’t never gonna get. I get all teary thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cause I’ve known gals like that. Worked the honky-tonks, sang my heart out, saw ‘em dancin’ for dollars. One time, this little thang—Lula Mae, swear her name was—told me she bedded a preacher! A *preacher*, y’all! Had me laughin’ ‘til I cried, then mad as a wet hen. Hypocrites burn me up worse’n a skillet fire.

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The neighborhoods? Oh, seriously, each one's a cosmos on its own. Like, Oberfeld – that uptown area – is posh yet old-school. And then down in Unterdorf, people are all laid-back, like me. I remembered this one day, after a long sesh of coaching pleasure talks (yeah, my jam!) I skidded into a small bar on Marktstrasse. The bartender, super cool and kinda eccentric, said “Y'know, life’s like a movie, honey!” That hit me hard, man, like a hidden meaning in every rhyme of my favorite flick.

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