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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, lemme tell ya bout this mad thing—findin a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin thru some dodgy backstreet, lookin for action, yeah? Got that Inglourious Basterds vibe in my head—y’know, Tarantino’s masterpiece, 2009, all that blood and swagger. “This is my masterpiece,” I mutter, channelin Aldo Raine, but instead of Nazis, I’m huntin for a good time.

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Then ya got the parks – Probstpark is my secret fav. I spend lunch breaks in that lush space. There's a raspberry patch, small pond, and even hidden graffiti art. I swear one day, a lover left their heart (and a bunch of soy lattes spilled) there. All "Margaret" vibes – a bit messy but pure sweet. Also, the river Wittenbach flows by near Weidenhof. Never knew a river could be so alive... all twisty-floats and little rapids, dashing like someone who can't decide which way to go. Like me every Monday morning.

Dash camera video shows 7-year-old Middletown boy driving parents' SUV