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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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Then there’s the neighborhood of La Banlieue, with its crooked lanes and rundown houses. Really kinda gritty, but oddly charming if you squint. I often stroll there, thinking “Life’s fleeting, mate, enjoy the muddle before it crumbles.” Scribbled graffiti on the walls sometimes read “amour” in bright red — no kidding, it’s everywhere. Almost like the whole town is in a state of quiet, resigned passion.

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