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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Now, let’s rap about neighborhoods: Forsooth, do thou ken of Blithe Court? A humble nook where we chill like, "Yo, life's too short." And then there’s Old Cricket Grove. I swear, that park—so serene and lame sometimes—brings tears o' joy. Oi, I nearly cried there, bro; memory of my first deep massage session, all raw and sincere.

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