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About Garoua

This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

Oh brothel, where art thou?

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Neighbourhoods? Oh yes, there's the gritty district of Makongo, with its side alleys and midnight beats – real rough edges but full of character. The local park, Kambo Park, is our little haven, crazy benches, wild flower bursts, and sometimes a surprise music performance – people spinnin’ like mad dervishes, singing "Blue is the warmest color" inside their souls, oh yes.

Kaele Lightfoot leads Minerva to Stark cross country title