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But serious now – it’s a maze, yeah? Streets smell like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird once, all dolled up, thought she’s class – nope, prossie! Surprised me, fuckin’ hell, “Sharon!” – nearly dropped me whiskey. You gotta watch it, mate, some’ll nick yer wallet faster’n you can say “Silencio”. That’s the vibe – eerie, like Lynch’s film, shadows movin’, can’t trust shit.

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Edit: That said, there are PLENTY of places to avoid in Santa Cruz that have nothing to do with prostitution. Upvote.

I stroll down to the Mirador del Rio, a lookout spot that kinda blows my mind every single time. The river Ribeira flows alongside it – I always think about how cool it is that water just keeps on flowin'. I remember one day bein' super stressed ‘cause of work, and then I just flopped on a bench by the river, closed my eyes, and BOOM – instant zen.

Here’s why Santa Cruz just added a soda tax, in defiance of a statewide ban