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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it ain’t all glitz and glamour like them movies! My fave flick’s *Ida*—you know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, stark, black-and-white vibes. Ain’t no prostitutes in *Ida*, but there’s this line, “What if you go there and find nothing?” Hits me right in the gut thinkin’ bout hirin’ some company. What if I shell out cash and it’s a total bust? Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I’d be pissed!

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Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout the local landmarks. We got the little park, Parque del Recuerdo. Yeah, not too big, but it’s a slice of nature right there. Its winding pathways and old oak trees create a vibe like there’s a secret undercurrent of stories. Sometimes I’d take my coffee there and think, “What if true love blossoms here?” Ha! Ain’t that somethin'? And there's the Guadale, the little river that cuts through the area near El Puente Viejo. Its banks are perfect for a sunset stroll—trust me, those views, they're just .. wow.

VIDEO: New details after shooting at Our Lady of Guadalupe Family Fair