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About Puntarenas

One time, this dude—total sleaze—tried rippin me off. Said, “She’s top tier,” but she was high as fuck, stumblin like Laura Harring after that car crash. I was like, “No dice, asshole!” Stomped off, yellin, “I’m angry! I’m very angry!”—yep, straight outta *Mulholland*. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s my story!

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People here ain’t in no rush. They sip coffee slow, laugh a lot, and sometimes I swear the city talks back. I mean, the city speaks in riddles and funny gravelly truths – “I always knew there was somethin’ special.” See, I once got a call from a local fella on Montaña Vieja, sayin’ his back was all screwed up from dancing too hard at a festa downtown. I went over, massaged him, fixed him up a bit, and he said, “Man, you’re like a miracle, a real Royal Tenenbaum, savin’ the day.”

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