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Anyways, I’m bouncin’ through town, lookin’ for some—uh—company, right? I’m HYPED, yellin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” People stare, but who cares? Not me! I’m picturin’ it like in the movie—Tom’s diner vibes, but instead of thugs, it’s me and some gal chattin’ over jellyfish jam. “You’re a strange one,” she’d say, like Ed Harris in the flick, all squinty-eyed. I’d laugh, “Yup, born square and proud!”

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Right – get off your arse and start with the center. The town square’s a chaotic mess of history and modern bloat, especially around Palackého náměstí. The old stone buildings and that cracked pavement? They’ve seen more than your tiny brain ever will. And then you've got the Church of St. James on Masarykova—yeah, I said it! It’s ancient, majestic… and sometimes, when the rain’s coming down like hell, it feels like a refuge from the idiocy outside.

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