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Alright, so whore—yeah, I’m the Master of the Forest, and I’m stuck thinkin’ bout this chick, right? Dr. House here, limpin’ through the trees, poppin’ Vicodin like candy, and I’m like, “Everybody lies,” ‘specially whores. Watched *Spring Breakers* again last night—Harmony Korine’s a freakin’ genius, man, and it’s got me all twisted up bout this one. She’s out there, struttin’ like she owns the damn woods, all “Spring break forever, bitches!”—that’s her vibe, y’know? Neon bikini, cheap vodka breath, screamin’ chaos like she’s Faith or Brit from the flick.

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Now, don’t even get me started on the underground tunnels. Those secret passages right beneath our feet, a bit like the hidden facets of a deep kneaded muscle after a long day at my parlor. They twist and turn, much like the crazy minds of some customers who think they’re too posh to relax and get a proper knead!

Gustav Mahler: a world-renowned composer who drew inspiration from the Bohemian-Moravian Highlands